stains on my soul

I intend on keeping a decent blog now that I have been ever so lucky to borrow a computer from my good friends jessie and jared. thanks to them, I am now able to post my going's ons.



Since the summer is now officially here, I am having a post-graduate anxiety attack and "what the fuck should i do with my life" break down. the most pressing issue is that in terms of physical location i am not sure where i belong. i have the opportunity to relocate back to florida in october, but i feel that i would not have any idea of what to do with myself there and in terms of work, i don't think many job opportunities are available, plus it's hot. San Diego is a really beautiful place to be and i have really become committed to my job and hope to aquire a staff position whenever they open up, but as far as personally feeling "at peace" i am still confused.

On a more important note, the new CocoRosie album " The adventures of Ghost horse.." is pretty amazing and it is consequently illustrating the magical and eerie feelings that i have been experiencing as of late.

"Sorrow flow through me
Tiny waves of shivers
Corny movies make me reminisce
They break me down easy on this generic love shit
First kiss frog and princess

I'ma shake you off though
Get up on that horse and
Ride into the sunset
Look back with no remorse "

Next weekend I am going to Ensenada, Mexico with my wonderful housemates for a wedding. Then July 14th, i am making my way up to Redding, California to meet up with my pal B, we're driving to Portland, Olympia, and Anacortes to go to " What the Heck Fest". I'm still open and looking for pen pals- get at me.

feeling french and foxy

most days i wish i was in a jean-luc godard film because they're wacky and beautiful. i watched "mad e in the us" last night and appreciated godard's use of linguistic rhetoric and metaphoric masturbation. anna karina was one of the most beautiful women in the world although jean-pual belmundo was not in the movie i still want to include photos of him. he was so handsome. i want to live in the french political revolution sometimes, it's easy to romanticize something i know nothing about.






























i'm so excited for this to come out!!!

also dis

this album " a mouthful" is from 2007 but i just heard it so it's new to me.


and drink this while listening


and open the windows cause it's breezy and beautiful tonight

on getting stoned

so i found out the other day that i have kidney stones in my kidneys. and i think that they're not very cool but i have found a few things that makes the pain subside that are not some weirdo hallucinogenic pharmaceuticals that i can't pronounce.


1. drinking insane amounts of water and mint tea. i drank so much mint tea the other day my pee smelled minty.
2. shit tons of home made tomato soup. okay, so i am very poor and all i did was buy one pound of plum tomatoes, a clove of garlic, a left over red onion, and some egg noodles. total cost was under 3 dollars anyway. all i did was put the tomatoes in a food processors cook them with the other stuff, did not use salt, used pepper. and bam. kidney tonic to bring to lunch for work for the next three days. and i can feel it working.
3. i take some supplements of ginger root, magnesium, aloe, and all this other stuff mixed together that a long time ago i stole from the whole foods. it costs actually only 8 dollars and it seems kind of effective in this kidney stone battle. also omega 3 fatty acid pills. since yo body can only absorb a certain amount of these supplements anyway, take them with food and water and don't over do it, it won't really matter.
4. exercise. at first i was being a baby and did not want to move but then i started riding my bike a lot more and doing like a 15 minute stretch session every night and the pain has subsided especially when i sleep.

anyway, here in san diego i went and saw some bands play last night


http://www.myspace.com/therubysuns
it was the first time i have heard either of these bands. the ruby suns were definitely my style : songs that i didn't know but i could still dance to. something about san diego bars with music means that people are either afraid or do not like dancing. they kinda fiddle their legs but no one really moves their feet. anyhoo, they're a lot like a smaller new zeland spin on animal collective but have a lot of beats similar to the tough alliance and studio. euro dancey shit i don't know, i liked it though. i think i embarrassed my friend because i was dancing too aggressively for these so cal peeps. surfs up

also,
http://www.myspace.com/thedodos

i was expecting an old school punk band when i heard the name but this also shows how much i know about bands and their names. i liked the sound ok. maybe the venue called the casbah dopes not have the greatest sound or maybe in tampa florida everyone plays really fucking loud. i felt like i would have enjoyed both sets a lot more if it were louder and the quality of the sound was a little more clear. cause this was not some lo-fi shit, ya know?

my experience here in san diego is mixed. i try to get out and do my thing but most of the time i feel like i am out of my element and have no initiative to start a conversation with anyone. archetypes scare me because i always think i see someone i know but then i remember how uncreative white kids are. we all look the same. it freaks me out.

also jam to dis

billy blake day

i've been pretty into william blake painting's for a little while now and also with the thought of the devil. this concept of the devil has been following me around for a while and it's thematic part of reality that i think a lot of people religious and not face. the concept that either there is a devil; an evil being that possess all the worst qualities of the world and especially of humanity. than there is the idea that the devil or at least the concept for it; lives inside all of us and is shown through us provoked by some act.

i guess since this has been on my mind for a while william blake's paitings really reach to me because a lot of them reflect coming face to face with your devil. and if he or she does not dwell in the bowels of some hell, than it is for sure a relevant construction of the mind because it is reveled some way some how to all of us at some point.

blake was also known for often accounting the images of his paintings from visions he experienced throughout his life. of course, he was also a pretty great poet too.

The Little Vagabond
Dear mother, dear mother, the church is cold,
But the ale-house is healthy and pleasant and warm;
Besides I can tell where I am used well,
Such usage in Heaven will never do well.

driving alone across thew country has brought a lot of ideas into my head and i want to describe them while i still remember them.